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Faith ?

  • Writer: ayomimi133
    ayomimi133
  • Jan 5
  • 7 min read

Updated: May 31


Faith has been a constant presence in my life since childhood, though for much of it, I wasn’t particularly interested. My parents took my brother and me to church regularly, and I often dozed off during the sermons. I attended a catholic primary school nearby our childhood home, where we sometimes had Mass before class complete with teachings from the priest, Holy Communion, and hymn singing. I loved primary school and its many experiences, but when it came to faith, I doubt most of us kids understood the significance of what we were doing, whether it was attending Mass or acting out the Nativity play each December. As I got older, faith wasn't something I kept with me, the distance wasn’t intentional however, I didn’t see its significance in my life. Throughout my life I felt I hadn’t done anything I and I assume others would consider ‘bad.’. I don’t drink, smoke, truly despise clubs / partying, cussing feels weird and extremely unnatural coming out of my mouth so it isn’t something I do and I have never gotten into a fight with anyone (unless that includes my brother, he his human but..when we were kids, we was an annoying little thing.) I considered myself a “good person,” whatever that means and I assumed that being morally good meant I didn’t need God or a higher power in my life but, one of the most humbling things I’ve come to realise is that Christ isn’t primarily concerned with our good works or morality. While these things have value in the world, they are not what makes us right with him. In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis writes, “A Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over again after each stumble because the Christ-life is inside him, repairing him all the time. This idea also echoes the truths in Isaiah 64:6: What’s amazing is that we don’t have to strive to be “good enough” to earn love. Imagine if you had to continuously work to earn the love of your parents and not know at the end where all the work gets you,how exhausting and disheartening would that be? I’ve realised that a relationship with Christ is completely different. It’s not about obligation or rule-following; it’s about grace, love, and transformation. More on this later, but it’s a beautiful realisation that faith isn’t about earning approval it’s about accepting it :)


People tend to assume, those who suddenly decide to believe in a God had done something bad in life so they’re turning to a higher being to help them throughout. Although that may be the story for others, it isn’t for me. I didn’t have any sort of radical event happen in my life, nobody brainwashed or forced  me into believing in Jesus, it was a decision and choice I made for myself and did so when I was a child but now would actually like to engage in it more than claim it merely as a title. In early 2024, however, an event somewhat pushed me to confront faith in a deeper way. Someone’s actions caused pain to people I love deeply and because I felt that hurt as if it were my own, I decided to cut them out of my life. I told them I’d never speak to them again and stuck to it for months. During this time, my mum, whose relationship with God is beautifully woven into her life, spoke to me about forgiveness. She shared stories from the Bible, showing how difficult but transformative forgiveness can be. A couple days after I decided to attend a church my friends recommended in central London. It’s held in a theater but has an incredible atmosphere. To my surprise, the pastor’s sermon that day was on forgiveness a coincidence that felt anything but random. Inspired by what I heard, I forgave the person who had wronged my family however not through my own strength because if it were, I would have continued to keep them out of my life, but through the strength Christ gave me through reading his word. Don’t get me wrong forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing harmful people back into your life.

God calls us to forgive, but also to walk wisely and protect our hearts. You can forgive fully and still set healthy boundaries. In some cases, love looks like letting go while leaving the door of your heart unchained by bitterness. Even Jesus set boundaries.

In John 2:24-25, it says:


“But Jesus did not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people… He knew what was in each person.”


He didn’t allow everyone close. He knew when to step back, when to withdraw, and when to walk away. That wasn’t a lack of love, it was wisdom.Forgiveness in Christ is powerful. That said, in this case, I knew it wasn’t the end of my relationship with that person. I didn’t feel God leading me to cut them off forever. I just knew space was needed.“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23


We live in a world where “cancel culture” encourages us to permanently cut off those who have hurt or disappointed us. I completely understand that way of thinking because, in someways my mind still sometimes lingers towards that mindset however, I’ve realised it’s not the path I want to follow. If every secret mean thought or action of yours were exposed, wouldn’t you all want grace and forgiveness? You may feel you don't deserve it, but you would want it. That’s the beauty of Christ’s sacrifice: it assures us that our past, present, and future sins are washed away when we accept Him into our lives because he knows we live in the world where the culture encourages us to do otherwise. I think the key is to acknowledge our wrongdoings before him everytime, learn from them, and grow. Faith is a topic that can feel intimidating or even alien. It’s easy to dismiss it as “just a religious thing” or rely on superficial glimpses like TikToks or soundbites to form our opinions. I also think the world, (mainly the US) has painted this image of people who follow Jesus as insane conservatives who hate certain groups of people and are looking to brainwash and convert you. Even celebrities who thank God in their acceptance speeches can send mixed messages when their actions contradict their words. But faith is deeply personal. If you’re curious, don’t stop at what others say, go to the source. Read the books, have conversations with people who challenge your views and seek knowledge directly and resort back to the source which would be the Bible to confirm what you have found out. Like any meaningful pursuit, true understanding requires effort and if anyone's decision is to continue unbelieving you have the free will to do so, a relationship with God or anyone in this world should not be forced but if you're curious about it, the effort in research is important.


I don't think I'll speak much about my faith journey on here but may add a few paragraphs from time to time For those who are atheists or agnostics, I would like to encourage you delve into the youtube channels and book listed down below if interested, especially C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity. C.S Lewis was an extreme athiest who later in his life decided to follow christ and beautifully speaks about his journey and addresses common questions: “If God is real, why is there so much suffering?” “Why can’t we see Him?” “Why do some people go to hell?” ' If we're not judged by being good, whats the point?' ' Why this God and not the others?' All questions are ones I also had in the past and discussed with people who allowed me to think outside my own understanding and research. These are such interesting topics ! I’d be happy to briefly explore and add my understanding to in future posts sometime. Although I’ve been a believer since I was a child, I was never really walked in it and boldly claimed it, it’s only recently that I’ve embraced faith for myself, not just as something passed down from my parents. I’m still learning, and sharing my journey which might lead others to see me differently or even leave but fear of others thoughts and opinions on this does not dwell in me at all because people can find things they love and hate about you, regardless if you’re atheist or not, 2 Timothy 1:7 also reminds me of that. I’m EXTREMELY grateful to be surrounded by people who love me for who I am and I’m excited for so many things in 2025 but with one of them mainly being to continue growing in faith and meeting even more cool friends from doing so ( Hi Rachel🤭 - if you’re reading this see you a church Sunday !) I would like to leave you with this thought


"We cannot see the wind, yet we feel it move through the trees and brush against our skin. We cannot see love, but we feel its warmth in the actions of those who care for us. A blind man cannot see the sun, but he feels its heat and knows it’s there. In the same way, though we cannot see Christ, I experience his presence in my life in the quiet whispers of comfort, the strength to forgive, and the beauty of the world around us."


:-)


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